5 Dehumanizing Myths About Fat Guys and Dating That People Can’t Excuse


About four weeks ago, certainly one of my siblings tagged me in a video clip she recorded of Family Feud, a casino game show where two families compete for a cash award by looking for typically the most popular responses to many different concerns. A girl might choose to be having a chubby or fat man. From the episode she recorded, host and comedian Steve Harvey asks the participants to respond to a rather loaded statement: “Name grounds”

The contestants’ answers end up supplying a round that is humorous the minds associated with participants, Steve Harvey, and presumably the viewers.

But my sister did share that is n’t video on her behalf Facebook web page to garner laughs from her relatives and buddies. It absolutely was just the opposite: my sibling had been aggravated at the round’s subject as well as the responses provided. My cousin had written:

“This really bothers me! For this reason people think you should be skinny/fit to be gorgeous, to be desired, to be liked, and also to deserve anything…this is certainly not OK! ”

My sister tagged me on this page once you understand my back ground in fat studies and sex studies (so that as a fat person that is masculine, knowing i might concur along with her frustrations.

Image description: A screenshot for the Family Feud game board with all the six most widely used responses: “Fatty got cash” (34 out of 100 individuals surveyed), “She’s fat/digs food” (23/100), “She’ll look better” (12/100), “She’s in love” (9/100), “He’s warm/cuddly” (6/100), and “He won’t cheat” (4/100). The thing this round that is particular of Feud does correctly is summarize a lot of the unfortunate fables our society perpetuates about fat individuals — specifically, fat males — and relationships.

But, calling down myths that are fatphobic demonstrably maybe maybe not the game’s aim. Alternatively it perpetuated body terrorism against fat systems to get laughs that are cheap. Let’s proceed through each one of the top six many popular responses in order to better understand how they’re inaccurate and damaging to males of size.

1. “Fatty Got Money! ”: Fat Men Are Only Valuable For Their Money or Power

The misconception: the fact this misconception is considered the most popular associated with six offered responses — 34 associated with 100 individuals initially surveyed provided this or perhaps a similarly-worded solution — is troubling by itself. This myth is one thing we see throughout US tradition, whether or not it’s in films, politics, or popular tradition.

The general assumption is that this fat man has to have money or some sort of power if a classically attractive person of any gender is with a fat man. Why else would an individual who could presumably get with anybody they desired decide to get with a disgusting man that is fat right?

This sort of idea is incredibly damaging for the great deal of fat males, putting each of their value as people to the cash or energy they might or might not have.

More Radical Reads: going from Healthism to Radical Self-Love: the person when you look at the picture

The facts: While you can find, needless to say, many people who just look for relationships for cash or energy, the reality is that quite often, individuals will decide to get with a man that is fat they really desire to be with him. This misconception is significantly less usually put on thin or “fit” males, unless of course that individual is well known to own cash or energy. However it’s much easier for individuals to comprehend two thin or usually appealing individuals being together because they’re interested in one another than when a thin or person that is traditionally attractive become with a fat guy for other less trivial reasons.

2. “She’s Fat/Digs Food”: Fat People Just Like Other Fat People

The myth: with this specific misconception, we come across just just how individuals make an effort to simply just take away fat people’s agency. It suggests that fat individuals will simply be able to have relationships along with other fat individuals, because they only find other fat people attractive or that’s all they can “get”, in the most brutal of terms whether it’s.

Slipped into this myth is a relevant fatphobic misconception: that most fat individuals love to consume a large amount of meals, and all sorts of individuals who like to eat foodstuffs are fat.

The truth: place plainly, the presumption that fat individuals will just look for relationships with other people that are fat false. Humans — fat, thin, as well as in between — may be and sometimes are interested in a wide number of individuals of all sizes and shapes. To assume that fat individuals will just ever be with fat individuals are at ab muscles least ignorant, or even entirely fatphobic and sizeist.

So when when it comes to indisputable fact that fatness is inherently correlated with (over)eating — that is another misconception too.

3. “She’ll Look Better”: Fat Guys Are Ugly

The myth: All fat males, in accordance with this worldview, are inherently less appealing than just about any partner they are able to ever have. Such men’s partners would just utilize them to show up more appealing in comparison. This myth makes the assumption that, as stated above, no body could conceivably maintain a relationship with a man that is fat they’re actually interested in him. Fat people are just tools to make their (presumably non-fat) lovers feel more desirable.

The reality: just like some individuals might pursue a man that is fat cash or energy, some individuals might only pursue fat guys to appear more appealing to others. In reality, though, this is apparently less frequent than this response could have us think.

I’ll keep saying the idea, just because We appear to be a broken record: many individuals really find fat males appealing!

4. “She’s In Love”

It was certainly the only answer that is truly mocking-free in the most notable responses regarding the board. That by itself is illustrative associated with entrenched fatphobia on display within the other countries in the responses. Moreover it is available in at 9/100, and therefore away from 100 people surveyed, “She’s in love” had been the solution written by just nine people.

What exactly are fat men watching designed to think of their health and their well well worth as humans?

5. “He’s Warm/Cuddly”: Fat Men Are Great For Cuddling Yet Not Intercourse

The misconception: this is certainly one particular “positive stereotypes” many folks make an effort to used to buttress their blatant bigotry. It’s somewhat similar to statements like “all Asians are smart” or “all homosexual men are stylish and confident. ”

Fat men are stereotyped to be warm and cuddly, not much else from the side that is“positive” of. As proof of this, among the game show participants offered a solution that finished up maybe maybe not being regarding the board: that a lady would date a fat guy because he had been great at sex. Steve Harvey, in their “comedic” fashion, reacted as though this was probably the most outrageous response in the entire world, because of the other contestants together with market laughing in contract. By doing this, the show promoted the idea that while fat males can cuddly be warm and, they aren’t become seen as intimate beings, let alone “good” at sex.

The reality: the matter with “positive stereotypes” would be that they anyone that is automatically alienate does not participate in those stereotypes. A whole lot worse, they alienate anybody who would like to be observed as more than simply the caricature of themsleves painted by culture.

Truly the only redeeming quality our tradition permits fat guys — if they aren’t rich or effective, and never even 100% of that time — is the fact that they’re like fluffy teddies. Even though many fat guys are certainly “warm and cuddly, ” it is harmful in order for them to see this because their only positive trait.

Further, just exactly what somebody perceives to be that is“good “bad” at sex is generally entirely subjective and situated in individual choice. Ridiculing the idea that fat males could possibly be “good” at intercourse further entrenches systemic fatphobia.

6. “He Won’t Cheat”: Fat Men Are Too Eager For Like To Be Unfaithful

The misconception: Fat men won’t ever cheat to their partners, the reasoning goes, simply because they wouldn’t do anything to destroy the “only sure thing” they will have inside their present relationship. Simply put, they already know that no body else may wish to be using them.

The facts: To place it bluntly, this can be upright incorrect. This dehumanizing survey solution assumes that fatness is inherently correlated with desperation for intimate and attention that is romantic.

As damning as it can be to acknowledge, fat males are just like likely as any kind of males to cheat to their lovers. And even more crucially, this misconception posits that fat males are incredibly ugly, they would be given by no one to be able to cheat on the lovers, which, once again, can also be drastically wrong to assume.

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