All by yourself Luis Suarez…but you do inspire column inches!

Over the years, we have seen some crazy celebrations, some weird ones, some were unforgettable, some were utterly bizarre and some were just simply awful. We’ve witnessed all sort of crazy dances, rocking babies and dentist’s chairs, t-shirts with all sorts of messages – political, funny or romantic – every kind of somersaults jump and dive.

We have even seen the touchline being snorted but, until Sunday, we had never witnessed a solo celebration quite like Luis Suarez’s who was seemingly ignored by his Liverpool teammates after his equaliser at Stamford Bridge.

While some have suggested that Suarez’s teammates went to congratulate Jamie Carragher on his assist (since when do footballers celebrate assists? What’s next fist-pumping after winning a throw-in?), the look on the Uruguayan’s face as he turned around and realised his teammates were nowhere to be seen will live long in our memories. As we played Eric Carmen ‘All By Myself’ in our heads, I was inspired to look back on some other celebrations that live in my memory and these are my gift to you…thank you Luis Suarez!

1) Neymar might be the next big thing in world football, but he definitely needs to work on his celebrations. Or rather, judging by the video, he should stop trying so hard.

Leaving aside for a moment the cretinous reasons that undoubtedly inspired one of his teammates who choose to play with number 200, celebrating a goal by wearing baseball caps and pretending to be rappers isn’t cool or funny, especially when you nickname yourself Dr. Ney…

2) For all the alleged lack of passion that infests modern football, some players truly love their clubs. Cristiano Lucarelli went some distance to demonstrate his feelings for his hometown club Livorno when he turned down a massive paycheck from Zenit opting to remain with the Tuscan side.

After netting against Piacenza, he then proceeded to, well…take his shirt off and have sex with it. What do you mean you’ve never seen a man dry humping a piece of garment in front of 20,000 people before?


Lucarelli simula sex cn t-shirt by harry210

3) FC Stjarnan might be the only team whose celebrations rather than goals deserve slow motion replays, for these inventive Icelanders have definitely raised the bar when it comes to goal scoring routines.

Here you can see them performing another kind of routine, widely practised all over the world, generally at about 7.30am…

4) Your club has decided to get rid of you because of your reputation of being a troublemaker.

You then score against them, how do you celebrate?

By pretending to punch your teammates to the floor, before one of them pulls an imaginary gun from under his shirt and pop’s a pretend cap in your ass…GANGSTER.

Over to FC Nordsjaelland striker Bajram Fetai…

5) It’s common knowledge that in football you should never celebrate too soon. We should perhaps add that, thanks to this Hungarian team, we now know that teams shouldn’t celebrate for too long either…

In your face rubbish celebration!


Soccer team celebrates too long by videobash

6) Newcastle fans love larger than life characters…Paul Gascoigne, Tino Asprilla, Alan Shearer…(ok, forget the last one) and they don’t come much larger than Temuri Ketsbaia.

You know whats coming, but don’t get scared by this celebration, Ketsbaia admitted “I was just happy to score”…lets hope he didn’t partake in shooting practice whilst training.

7) The 1994 World Cup is mostly remembered for, Diana Ross missing a pen and a goal splitting in two, games played in sweltering heat and one of the most boring finals the competition has ever seen…But it’s not all bad, it was also the tournament that gave us Bebeto’s “rocking baby” celebration – this isn’t the celebration we are talking about.

Over to you Finidi George…

8) Never one to shy away from controversies, Craig Bellamy responded to allegations that he had attacked John Arne Riise with a golf club during a training camp by simulating a golf swing after scoring against Barcelona at the Camp Nou in 2007, earning himself a “Nutter with a Putter” nickname in the process.

Four!!!! The jokers at UEFA meant we couldn't bring you the video...thanks Platini.

9) As mentioned earlier, FC Stjarnan have set a new standard in terms of goal celebrations. Surely we need to start a petition to get them into the Champions League?

10) Peter Reid used to say ‘simplicity is genius’ whilst he was Sunderland’s gaffer, apparently Eric Cantona took that on board…

What do you get when you combine an arrogant Frenchman + a football + the pitch at Old Trafford in a match vs Sunderland – Custard Pie in Peter Reid’s face!

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